The whole IDGAF attitude that alcohol gave me was irreplaceable.  Nothing phased me, nothing mattered and I could make any situation into a non-issue with a bottle or two of wine.  Caring was unnecessary.  Also unnecessary were a whole host of other emotions I knew I was numbing out, but also knew I didn’t need.  Giving up drinking made me feel, and this was, in a word, awful.  I was constantly and consistently questioning my own judgement.  Are my thoughts rational right now?  Am I overreacting?  Or is this how I should have been reacting the whole time?  My inner dialogue was wrought with skepticism and a general negativity, and I had no idea how to stop it- or if I should even try. Continue reading →