Of all of the things alcohol was to me, predictable had to be my favorite. I knew what it would taste like, how that first fuzzy head rush of the first drink of the night would feel, and how it was completely accessible from pretty much anywhere. It was predictable in other ways, as well. It would make the stress of the day melt away, it would relax me, it would make me open up and socialize. Alcohol did things for me nothing else in my life could.
My life was separated into two distinct parts: when I was drinking, and when I was not. By quitting drinking, I had to give up that predictability. I knew I would have to learn how to live a different life, somehow finding a way to get through the day without the knowledge of the 6pm finish line. I wondered how I could possibly go through my day with no reward in sight.
The Tiny Squid 